I was also told that as a Christian we should not judge others for only God can judge us, as a Christian we should love one another; love your neighbor as you love yourself and that's what God is- he is love incarnate. Never turn anyone away even if one of our own falls from grace, that we need to show them that they are still Loved, no matter their short comings.
Last year was really tough for me and my family we were going through something that really brought us down, down on our knees, down in spirit and it was really challenging and it really drained us physically, emotionally and spiritually- I won't discuss in detail what happened but I will say that we were going through a difficult time with my sister.
At that time we really came together as a family and prayed, we prayed as hard as we could, we cried hard as well- we just wanted things to settle down, we wanted peace within our home and we wanted God just to do what he has to do and we accepted that he works in his own way and in his own time.
I really wished at that time I had someone to talk too-someone who could encourage me and I felt alone, I am the tough one in my family and for me being the strong one in my household means holding my family together, it means holding my mums hand, telling my sister that things will get better but it's an act I put on for them, I want to be strong for my family- It's the way I've always been. Behind closed doors no one see's the tears that flows; my pillow is my only witness. I was troubled and conflicted.
I started to get frustrated, I asked God why does he allow bad things to happen to my family all the time, when will things get better or is it going to get worse from here on out?? When thoughts like this creep into your mind and if you let it creep into your heart it makes you feel even worse, I started asking God about what the lesson was in all of this, what's the meaning of it ? is it supposed to make me/us run to you ? get closer? but it seems that I'm only drawing away...even further away.
I wanted to know and I asked him point blank, I called him out- where are the people who are supposed to encourage me, pull us up?? where?? where are our church members? where are my youth members? if we can't go to the mountain isn't the mountain supposed to come to us?? I don't know maybe they were there in spirit but I need them to in flesh. I was hurt deeply-wounded in fact.
TO BE CONTINUED
